New Delhi: Pakistan replies to India’s 26/11 dossier in its own inimitable style - “Indian dossier had Ghajini movie CD’s.”

India gave dossier on 26/11 Mumbai attack to Pakistan, seeking its cooperation on the investigation. After playing all delaying tactics, yesterday Pakistan’s external affairs minister “Cherry Rahman” decided to give the reply to Indian counterparts. She flew in to New Delhi to give the detailed report to Indian external affairs minister “Pranab Mukherjee”. Pranab graciously received the guest and thanked for personally delivering him the message. But he was shocked upon reading the message.

The message read,

09/02/2009
Islamabad

Pyare Pranab Bhai(Dear Pranab Brother),

We, the People of Pakistan are extremely thankful for sharing the dossier with us.

We should admit Pakistani’s always download Bollywood movies from illegal sites. Some “Non State actors” in Karachi even go to the extent of making pirated CD copies of these movies. Again we are ashamed to admit those copies were of poor video / hardly audible. But still they are way better than films made by our Lahore film industry.

So we were never able to enjoy good Bollywood movies. But in your 26/11 dossier we found Ghajini movie CD’s. The print was so original. Our President Asi Ali Zardari immediately took it to his home to watch with his family. He also shared the CD with Prime Minister Guilani and other coalition partners. However army chief, General Kayani refused to watch the movie as he is a great fan of Sharukh Khan. When we recommended him to watch this movie, he blasted, “I hate all Khan’s be it – “Aamir Khan”, “Salman Khan” or “Pop Khan (Corn)”; except Sharukh Khan”.

We heard that you are growing impatient over our delayed response. Actually, our beloved “Bilal Bhutto” too asked for the CD. Just yesterday he returned it from London. That’s the reason for the delay.

We also find some other documents in the dossier. I remember them saying something about Mumbai attack, 26/11 and some body by the name “Ajmal Amir Kasab”. We gave the details to our intelligence chief. He promised to get back to us by 30th Feb 2009. Once we get the response we will definitely get in touch with you.

“Indo-Paki Bhai-Bhai” - Long Live India Pakistan friendship.

Yours Truly,
(Signed)
Cherry Rahman

After reading the response Pranab Mukherjee fainted. Currently he is treated at AIIMS hospital, New Delhi.

Mean While Pakistan opposition leader, Nawaz Sharif had called for agitation in Rawalpindi for not sharing Ghajini movie CD with him.

New Delhi: Official Prime Minister Manmohan Singh personally went to a regional transport office in Indraprastha to get his driving license renewed. Along with him his wife Gursharan Kaur also got her license renewed.

Manmohan Singh noted for his humbleness, today personally drove to RTO office with his wife to get his license renewed. Punctual PM went at 9:00 AM to RTO office. But he needs to wait long for the issuing officer to come, who finally came in at 10:30 AM which is normal by government office standards. However Manmohan was shocked when the officer demanded Rs.100 bribe to renew license. Though Manmohan tried to explain he got all documents with him the officer was adamant with his demand. Finally license renewal was done only after Manmohan paid Rs.200 for renewing his and his wife’s license.

After returning to Prime Minister Office, Manmohan said, “I never thought people got treated like this in government offices. It just reminds me of the bollywood movie, Hindustani. When I watched the movie long ago, I thought the movies RTO office scenes are exaggerated. But after the treatment I got today I understand those things are real.” (“Hindustani” is a “Hindi movie” which famously depicts the way RTO offices operate in India. It was also released in regional languages – “Indian” in “Tamil” and “Bharateeyudu” in “Telegu”)

“The Prime Minister is quite upset with the way he was treated in RTO office. He is really concerned about common people of our country” Prime Minister’s media advisor Deepak Sandhu said.

Regional transport Office spokes person said, “Chandru Sharma, officer who allegedly took bribe from PM is suspended. A departmental inquiry is underway”.

German pharmaceutical company “Zimmertisz”, which markets famous memory enhancement tablet “Memoronz G Plus” in India, today announced it is going to file a law suit against Aamir Khan, for acting as a short time memory loss patient in his recent movie - Ghajini.

Ghajini - the action packed thriller movie, starring Aamir Khan, Asin and Jiah Khan is the biggest box office hit of the year 2008. Aamir khan’s performance as the revenge thirsty “Sanjay Singhania” is considered to be one of the main reasons for the films success. But not everyone seems to be happy with the movie.

The pharmaceutical major Zimmertisz, specialized on memory enhancement drugs was quite upset with Aamir as he was its brand ambassador. In a press release Anil Sibal, South Asian regional director of Zimmertisz said - “think about the marketing prospects for a memory enhancement tablet with its brand ambassador depicted as a short time memory loss patient. We are not going to leave this matter. Ever since this movie got released our sales have gone down by 18%. Even our share prices are crashing down. We haven’t anticipated this from a man of Aamir’s caliber. Definitely he needs to issue an apology. Else we need to speak to our lawyer”.

When contacted, sources close to Aamir declined to comment on this.